five illusions

what a deep mist smile in your face
you look up at me to see if i'm okay
i hold unto you like i'm going to fall
how low i am to you, so high i crawl
your arms so skinny, your hand still slips
just like me you don't know if you're still in it
into such a cruel world so big and tall
and even at the bottom you think you're gonna fall

into disgrace
out of place
you can't taste your wearied will
i don't know
which way to throw
what a show, you make me feel ill
and i scream
into this dream
to deceive my cringing shout
up a creek
my heart sleeps
i'm such a creep
i never let me out of myself

i've been so bruised so long it hurts me to say
that i would live for tomorrow even for today
i don't think i could go on with these pointed schemes
lights up in my conscience deep in my dreams
and you lend your hand when i'm in need
you push me and hoping that i could see
but trust is vain as it was in the past
i tear my love for you, gone, saved in the last

in your eyes
in disguise
how can i lie with you in my heart
i can't tell
why it's hell
to be known with all my halos
and you can see
why that's me
i can't tell it everyday
and i try
to satisfy
for a piss in your eye and your smile so bright

ahh, you look, you look
you look so low
to find me there in your arms i share
your warmth and your touch
needing you here so much
ahh, you try, you try
you show me the world
but you forgot one place, it was i forget
to search for it
lies in a pit
i know i'll shrink it all in your look

with the one that's so large how can you think
i step on your roses 'cause they all stink
your beautiful poses and all your pretty colours
all makes me sick that i forgot the hour
with your lovely smile and your perfect face
shrinks me like acid and bitters my taste
to think i ever have a friend like you in need
to follow you through gardens and let them bleed

with your heart
in its part
never tired of the love you shared
so it's that
pat on the back
i thought i was trapped but i found you truly cared
as you cry
unto the tides
you never hide your best prepared
you look back to retry
to never cry
but i'm no guy, i've been a fool before

and i judge this life on the way it's run
this world is sinking and everyone's having fun
we're all going to hell and nobody cares
fools like them to beating their share
everyone's a prick and you can't trust your friend
he'll stick a gun to your mouth when it comes to the end
as might as well end it all without all that pain
a bullet in your head as you scream out in the rain

into your brain
no remains
just the pain you carried for so long
as you fight in your dream
with no hoping
now it seems you don't know if you're strong
you're holding tight
with all your will
to kill your pride, your grip on the wheel
just to turn you through
how will you do
you can't even trust you with that crazy river of doubt

you beam impress tints in my eyes
a love like yours that i can never deny
but i'm always behind your living soul
something that only brings me down
and only to trust you to an extreme
be one with you forever and just be a team
to hold your head while we're crossing the street
depressing blue thoughts to put in the heap

beyond your heart
all torn apart
driven up a cart indice
to a hole
i need to be thrown
you love me so would shot me degree
your prize there
your long brown hair
your arms will tear holding me tight
in you i know
where it all goes
to stick is so and to never let go

ahh, you stare
you stare deep in my eyes
to look into my thought
i can tell i've been bought
your warmth, your touch
wanting you there so much
ahh you look
you look underneath
to find me under there in your arms i share
into mean-preyed comforts
my mind will stray
why do you hurt me
just go away

and i seem to look too deep in your eyes
i peek at it all like i want to try
forever running in a hole too sly
all packed into reactive 'til the day i die
and hoping and wanting all for too soon
leaving it behind is all of what we do
never to mend it up and take it away
shaking you through and pulling you all the way

you whirl
like a pearl
the only girl to defy my wearied will
i can't tell
why it's hell
can't make up myself, it makes me feel ill
and i scream
into a dream
it's different to me, i cringe and shout
up a creek
deep in sleep
but i'm such a creep
never willing to come out of myself

-winston campbell-